I’ve made a lot of mistakes. Not as many as some, but a lot more than others. I made a huge one in the summer of 2014.
I had just lost a hard-fought campaign for the Republican Party’s nomination for Governor of Arkansas. I was more disappointed than I had immediately realized, but I knew how frustrated I was, especially with Arkansas’ “main stream” media. As in most of the rest of the country, the MSM in Arkansas is unquestionably biased against conservatives. They rarely “attack” conservatives, at least not head-on. Their most effective tactics are to misquote, quote incompletely, report an opponent’s accusations as fact, or totally ignore. As Denzel Washington was recently reported to have said, “If you don’t read the newspaper, you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed.”
Conservative candidates are definitely not getting a fair shake in Arkansas, and I was determined to do something about it. The result: Arkansas’ first Internet television station – AR1.TV. My goal was to give conservative candidates – in fact, any candidates – an unfiltered medium for getting their undistorted message to Arkansans.
The investment was significant. And it was one of the most expensive mistakes I’ve ever made. AR1.TV failed. It’s important to understand why it failed. From a business point of view, I couldn’t make it “cash flow.” But the real reason was I did it without God. I’m not suggesting that I left God out of my life or ever lost a desire to trust Him or honor Him. I just did this – AR1.TV – without Him. Without His direction, without His blessing and without His power. Entirely on my own.
Not only did I lose a lot of money, but good relationships were ruptured, friendships that had been pleasant and valuable were damaged if not destroyed. In the process, God confirmed once again that He loves me immensely:
My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? (Hebrews 12:5-7)
In early March of 2016, I sat at our breakfast table talking with my wife, Kathryn, who is without question the most patient and merciful person on this planet. I had been thinking almost constantly about how badly I had missed God and was determined to never let that happen again. “You know, you could call me from any telephone in the world, and I would recognize your voice,” I said to Kathryn. “I would know it was you. That’s the kind of relationship I want to have with God. I want to have a 24/7 conversational relationship with God. I want to hear Him and recognize His voice every waking minute of every day for the rest of my life.”
And that is what I set out to do that first week in March 2016. In the days and weeks that follow, I will share the story of my journey, sometimes “real time” as it happens. Some who read this “journal” will be far ahead of me. I would like to get to know you. Some of you will be invited by the Spirit of God to join me on a similar journey. I hope you’ll be encouraged. And I hope I’ll hear from you.